Summary of the past few weeks: we were able to go to California, and I decided to post-pone the next round of heavy detoxers until next month. Things go up and down within the course of each day. The past week has been marvelous; no problems bending my arms or moving my neck, GI stuff is on-point, the alkalizing seems to be going well (although we have to retest my internal ph soon!), eczema-related problem areas are fading...so in terms of symptoms, they have become more manageable within the past 7 days (within the past 24 hours, even). There's still constant itchiness / stomach-pain, but it is so much more manageable. We're pretty floored.
I'm not stupid enough to think that this is a true indicator of causal-improvement -- the last cycle of heavy detoxers/Herxheimer's proved that there are a lot of things that will have to be shaken loose. But I am able to do things without trouble, live life as it should be, and that is marvelous. Part of me doesn't want to ever do the next cycle of heavy-detoxers. It's quite McDonalds around here ("I'm lovin' it!"), but we are also excited to hear what our doctor has to say, now that they blood tests are in (and our appointment is only two-ish weeks away!).
We celebrated our 3rd anniversary yesterday. I am so thankful for my dear friend, all of his unwavering support and love, and the time with which God has blessedly given us together.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
the Roll family
Delicious but weirdly shaped. (Metaphor for life, anyone?)
Contains:
slivered golden beet
shredded collard greens
alfalfa sprouts
torn basil
shredded Brussel sprouts
...in a brown rice thingymabob.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
blown away/thankful
The last two days have seen huge improvements. Friday, my arms went from beyond awful to bad. Tom and I went on an evening walk and I only needed to sit down once. Today (Saturday) we went on 1 mile hike without any difficulty...and my arms are continuing to improve. My abdomen and face have improved tons! This is the Herxheimer's petering off, but it is happening incredibly fast. Much faster than it "should" be. We credit this entirely to your prayers. I'm not healthy yet, but I am not curled up in my house like a decomposing shrimp. I am able to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time and that is amazing. :) Praising the Lord for choosing to heal me of this first round of Herxheimer's so rapidly for His glory. Thank you all for your dear prayers.
Update: Sunday saw even more improvements! I am sleeping about 3/3.5 hours at a time now. The Herxheimer's is almost gone and my skin continues to improve. We are thrilled God allowed this first round of herxing to be so brief. Praising Him for the continual healing and for the sweet encouragement it is to know that our brothers and sisters are praying for us. Love you all.
Update: Sunday saw even more improvements! I am sleeping about 3/3.5 hours at a time now. The Herxheimer's is almost gone and my skin continues to improve. We are thrilled God allowed this first round of herxing to be so brief. Praising Him for the continual healing and for the sweet encouragement it is to know that our brothers and sisters are praying for us. Love you all.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
leek/beet hash
New favorite:
Sautée 2 sliced leeks & one cubed beet.
Mix kale in to let it wilt.
Serve over brown rice pho noodles. We liked the way organic sprouts and GMO-free soy sauce (Bragg's) complimented the dish. :)
I'd rather be sick
(I am not going to rattle on, but a few 4AM thoughts... they kind of link to a journal entry excerpt I shared earlier).
Sanctification is tricky, at least in my mind. The concept is simple, but the actionable data is hazy at best. Anyway, I have been thinking about it (because nothing is more jolly than thinking about things that make you feel dumb, derp).
As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.
James 5:10-11
Through the processes of chronic illness, God has been sanctifying me. Not to say that when I felt healthy He wasn't, but rather... It might be best explained as the realization that trials are not useless. So, I am amazed to be able to say that I am counting it all joy, praying that it produces steadfastness, and that I am humble to "let steadfastness take its full effect", so that I may be "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4).
At the risk of sounding glib (and please know I am sincere)... I'd rather be sick and being sanctified than be healthy and not being sanctified. And yes, there is a third option (being healthy while being sanctified). But honestly, who cares? It is irrelevant to the idea. Third option or no, whatever God can use to sanctify me so that I can be useful to Him and live to the praise of His glory... that is a mercy, a kindness I do not merit. The fact that God, creator of the universe, who has already paid the immeasurable cost of my unfaithfulness & sin and then saved me unto Himself chooses to be involved and loves me (us!) enough to sanctify me is amazing. Sickness is a part of the fall, an imperfection that is the result of sin. But, if He can use the fruit of the fall to plant a tree of life within me...that is marvelous indeed.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.
2 Corinthians 4:16
An amazing, merciful gift. The thankfulness is bursting from my heart. He is gloriously perfect and yet He chooses to work to make me more holy. How can I restrain my praises? My thankfulness? My wonder? "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)
Sanctification is tricky, at least in my mind. The concept is simple, but the actionable data is hazy at best. Anyway, I have been thinking about it (because nothing is more jolly than thinking about things that make you feel dumb, derp).
As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.
James 5:10-11
Through the processes of chronic illness, God has been sanctifying me. Not to say that when I felt healthy He wasn't, but rather... It might be best explained as the realization that trials are not useless. So, I am amazed to be able to say that I am counting it all joy, praying that it produces steadfastness, and that I am humble to "let steadfastness take its full effect", so that I may be "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4).
At the risk of sounding glib (and please know I am sincere)... I'd rather be sick and being sanctified than be healthy and not being sanctified. And yes, there is a third option (being healthy while being sanctified). But honestly, who cares? It is irrelevant to the idea. Third option or no, whatever God can use to sanctify me so that I can be useful to Him and live to the praise of His glory... that is a mercy, a kindness I do not merit. The fact that God, creator of the universe, who has already paid the immeasurable cost of my unfaithfulness & sin and then saved me unto Himself chooses to be involved and loves me (us!) enough to sanctify me is amazing. Sickness is a part of the fall, an imperfection that is the result of sin. But, if He can use the fruit of the fall to plant a tree of life within me...that is marvelous indeed.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.
2 Corinthians 4:16
An amazing, merciful gift. The thankfulness is bursting from my heart. He is gloriously perfect and yet He chooses to work to make me more holy. How can I restrain my praises? My thankfulness? My wonder? "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)
Friday, May 2, 2014
STOKED
YOU GUYS. I slept soundly from 10:30pm to 5am! This is the most consecutive hours of sleep I have gotten in two weeks. I feel so much better. Praising the Lord for this unexpected and wonderful gift.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
up/down
Down:
a. I have flu-like symptoms due to Herzheimer's reaction and, well, you know how the flu is. This plus everything else is a three layer cake of lethal that has knocked me flat out.
b. All areas that had almost finished healing (shoulders, back, chest, abdomen, thighs, back of R knee, arms, wrists, hands) from eczema are either back to their original state or worse.
c. A third fungi has apparently taken over my system.
(Uncertain why, but the theory is that when we got rid of the others this one, dormant in tissue, decided to 'move in'.
hlkjsafdsafhlkj. ! ! ! Disgusting x a billion.)
d. I am fully cationic, i.e. my system is extremely acidic.
I say "fully" cationic, because February testing revealed my system was cationic/anionic...some parts of were too acidic while others were too alkaline. Current ph is 5.8 (ideal body ph is slightly alkaline, at ~7.4 ph).
e. Sadly, we had to delay our departure date. No CA vacation for us, at least this time around. (Preview of an "Up" --> but we are still going to be there for the major family events, which is fantastic).
Up:
a. As of yesterday (Tuesday), we have the results from one of the tests (not the blood tests, but still). Incredibly glad to have them!
b. Part of the results --> New diet to alkalize my system...and I like it way better, even though it is just as restrictive in many ways. Things like raw milk and raspberries are okay to eat now, even though old favorites like maple syrup,eggs (just kidding! This is apparently [thankfully!] temporary. In a month I can eat eggs! They are an acidifying food, but no where near as bad as beef, so just gotta wait until I am not so cationic, and then we will likely be able to reintroduce), and beef are off the table. :)
c. I am consistently able to open my eyes without difficulty, despite the fact that they are still swollen. This is a tremendous relief.
d. The eczema no longer impedes my ability to eat.
e. Today I did a lot of standing and walking around as mom and I did some errands to prepare for this new diet...and I am pooped but not crashing, as has been the pattern in the past. SO happy about this.
f. Found a clinic that does pre-warming / has the proper incubator so the final blood test (for this first round of testing) can be completed. Whoop!
g. My amazing mom blessed me by hanging out with me and discovering MOM's Organic Market with me when I wasn't permitted to take the blood test that was scheduled for today. I loved spending time with her. Cannot thank you enough, Mom. (You should all find good reasons to visit her, by the way. She is going to make a strawberry-rhubarb pie...and you know about my mother's magical abilities with pie).
h. Despite having to cancel our CA vacation, I'm not anxious or depressed. We're still going out for Sarah's graduation, just not when we hoped we would. It's out of our control, so it is both practical and of strategic interest to be at peace...but beyond that, I just am at peace.
While it is still true nothing sounds better than a few solid days with beautiful surroundings, with no one but my handsome husband and nothing to interfere in our plans... it's not my hope or source of joy. Are you rolling your eyeballs? Before you lift a scoffing eyebrow, realize that I think the day has been fancy if I go to the grocery store! Easter weekend has been the only weekend in ages that wasn't spent doing damage control for a new mystery surge as we watched all of our progress disappear. Just the idea of a vacation with your most treasured friend can easily become an idol when you are a shut-in. In retrospect, it had become that for me for a brief amount of time. Praise the Lord for His goodness and generous mercy in both shaking me free of that idol and for giving me peace when the opportunity for precious time with Tom was taken away.
For those of you who understand why this would be saddening, don't feel bad for me. I actually feel worse for Tom. I tried to convince him to go on without me so he could spend time with family and friends but, of course, he would have none of it, in the kindest way possible. He has had made so many sacrifices already. I hoped this would not be one of them. Thinking about all of the good (and just plain normal) things he has given up or missed---cheerfully, with love, for the glory of God, literally without uttering a single complaint---because of me makes my heart ache. (Lord, please grant Tom the desires of his heart, for Your name's sake). However, we strongly doubt that my condition is permanent, and while disappointing and a little sad, there will be other trips and opportunities...hey, while our time in CA will be a rushed and busy few days, they will be full of dear-ones. I can't wait to be spending time with our family! Eeep! <--(utilizing a non-word to express my intense level of excited anticipation! And excitement! Because I am excited. Did I mention I am excited about seeing our family??! Bah!)
Oh, and it will be warm. Poo on you, rainy Virginia.
a. I have flu-like symptoms due to Herzheimer's reaction and, well, you know how the flu is. This plus everything else is a three layer cake of lethal that has knocked me flat out.
b. All areas that had almost finished healing (shoulders, back, chest, abdomen, thighs, back of R knee, arms, wrists, hands) from eczema are either back to their original state or worse.
c. A third fungi has apparently taken over my system.
(Uncertain why, but the theory is that when we got rid of the others this one, dormant in tissue, decided to 'move in'.
hlkjsafdsafhlkj. ! ! ! Disgusting x a billion.)
d. I am fully cationic, i.e. my system is extremely acidic.
I say "fully" cationic, because February testing revealed my system was cationic/anionic...some parts of were too acidic while others were too alkaline. Current ph is 5.8 (ideal body ph is slightly alkaline, at ~7.4 ph).
e. Sadly, we had to delay our departure date. No CA vacation for us, at least this time around. (Preview of an "Up" --> but we are still going to be there for the major family events, which is fantastic).
Up:
a. As of yesterday (Tuesday), we have the results from one of the tests (not the blood tests, but still). Incredibly glad to have them!
b. Part of the results --> New diet to alkalize my system...and I like it way better, even though it is just as restrictive in many ways. Things like raw milk and raspberries are okay to eat now, even though old favorites like maple syrup,
c. I am consistently able to open my eyes without difficulty, despite the fact that they are still swollen. This is a tremendous relief.
d. The eczema no longer impedes my ability to eat.
e. Today I did a lot of standing and walking around as mom and I did some errands to prepare for this new diet...and I am pooped but not crashing, as has been the pattern in the past. SO happy about this.
f. Found a clinic that does pre-warming / has the proper incubator so the final blood test (for this first round of testing) can be completed. Whoop!
g. My amazing mom blessed me by hanging out with me and discovering MOM's Organic Market with me when I wasn't permitted to take the blood test that was scheduled for today. I loved spending time with her. Cannot thank you enough, Mom. (You should all find good reasons to visit her, by the way. She is going to make a strawberry-rhubarb pie...and you know about my mother's magical abilities with pie).
h. Despite having to cancel our CA vacation, I'm not anxious or depressed. We're still going out for Sarah's graduation, just not when we hoped we would. It's out of our control, so it is both practical and of strategic interest to be at peace...but beyond that, I just am at peace.
While it is still true nothing sounds better than a few solid days with beautiful surroundings, with no one but my handsome husband and nothing to interfere in our plans... it's not my hope or source of joy. Are you rolling your eyeballs? Before you lift a scoffing eyebrow, realize that I think the day has been fancy if I go to the grocery store! Easter weekend has been the only weekend in ages that wasn't spent doing damage control for a new mystery surge as we watched all of our progress disappear. Just the idea of a vacation with your most treasured friend can easily become an idol when you are a shut-in. In retrospect, it had become that for me for a brief amount of time. Praise the Lord for His goodness and generous mercy in both shaking me free of that idol and for giving me peace when the opportunity for precious time with Tom was taken away.
For those of you who understand why this would be saddening, don't feel bad for me. I actually feel worse for Tom. I tried to convince him to go on without me so he could spend time with family and friends but, of course, he would have none of it, in the kindest way possible. He has had made so many sacrifices already. I hoped this would not be one of them. Thinking about all of the good (and just plain normal) things he has given up or missed---cheerfully, with love, for the glory of God, literally without uttering a single complaint---because of me makes my heart ache. (Lord, please grant Tom the desires of his heart, for Your name's sake). However, we strongly doubt that my condition is permanent, and while disappointing and a little sad, there will be other trips and opportunities...hey, while our time in CA will be a rushed and busy few days, they will be full of dear-ones. I can't wait to be spending time with our family! Eeep! <--(utilizing a non-word to express my intense level of excited anticipation! And excitement! Because I am excited. Did I mention I am excited about seeing our family??! Bah!)
Oh, and it will be warm. Poo on you, rainy Virginia.
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