proof of life

Summary of the past few weeks: we were able to go to California, and I decided to post-pone the next round of heavy detoxers until next month. Things go up and down within the course of each day. The past week has been marvelous; no problems bending my arms or moving my neck, GI stuff is on-point, the alkalizing seems to be going well (although we have to retest my internal ph soon!), eczema-related problem areas are fading...so in terms of symptoms, they have become more manageable within the past 7 days (within the past 24 hours, even). There's still constant itchiness / stomach-pain, but it is so much more manageable. We're pretty floored.

I'm not stupid enough to think that this is a true indicator of causal-improvement -- the last cycle of heavy detoxers/Herxheimer's proved that there are a lot of things that will have to be shaken loose. But I am able to do things without trouble, live life as it should be, and that is marvelous. Part of me doesn't want to ever do the next cycle of heavy-detoxers. It's quite McDonalds around here ("I'm lovin' it!"), but we are also excited to hear what our doctor has to say, now that they blood tests are in (and our appointment is only two-ish weeks away!).

We celebrated our 3rd anniversary yesterday. I am so thankful for my dear friend, all of his unwavering support and love, and the time with which God has blessedly given us together.

the Roll family

Delicious but weirdly shaped. (Metaphor for life, anyone?)

Contains: 

slivered golden beet

shredded collard greens

alfalfa sprouts 

torn basil

shredded Brussel sprouts 

...in a brown rice thingymabob. 

blown away/thankful

The last two days have seen huge improvements. Friday, my arms went from beyond awful to bad. Tom and I went on an evening walk and I only needed to sit down once. Today (Saturday) we went on 1 mile hike without any difficulty...and my arms are continuing to improve. My abdomen and face have improved tons! This is the Herxheimer's petering off, but it is happening incredibly fast. Much faster than it "should" be. We credit this entirely to your prayers. I'm not healthy yet, but I am not curled up in my house like a decomposing shrimp. I am able to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time and that is amazing. :) Praising the Lord for choosing to heal me of this first round of Herxheimer's so rapidly for His glory. Thank you all for your dear prayers.

Update: Sunday saw even more improvements! I am sleeping about 3/3.5 hours at a time now. The Herxheimer's is almost gone and my skin continues to improve. We are thrilled God allowed this first round of herxing to be so brief. Praising Him for the continual healing and for the sweet encouragement it is to know that our brothers and sisters are praying for us. Love you all.

leek/beet hash

New favorite: 

Sautée 2 sliced leeks & one cubed beet. 

Mix kale in to let it wilt. 

Serve over brown rice pho noodles. We liked the way organic sprouts and GMO-free soy sauce (Bragg's) complimented the dish. :) 

I'd rather be sick

(I am not going to rattle on, but a few 4AM thoughts... they kind of link to a journal entry excerpt I shared earlier).

Sanctification is tricky, at least in my mind. The concept is simple, but the actionable data is hazy at best. Anyway, I have been thinking about it (because nothing is more jolly than thinking about things that make you feel dumb, derp). 

As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful. 
James 5:10-11 

Through the processes of chronic illness, God has been sanctifying me. Not to say that when I felt healthy He wasn't, but rather... It might be best explained as the realization that trials are not useless. So, I am amazed to be able to say that I am counting it all joy, praying that it produces steadfastness, and that I am humble to "let steadfastness take its full effect", so that I may be "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4). 

At the risk of sounding glib (and please know I am sincere)... I'd rather be sick and being sanctified than be healthy and not being sanctified. And yes, there is a third option (being healthy while being sanctified). But honestly, who cares? It is irrelevant to the idea. Third option or no, whatever God can use to sanctify me so that I can be useful to Him and live to the praise of His glory... that is a mercy, a kindness I do not merit. The fact that God, creator of the universe, who has already paid the immeasurable cost of my unfaithfulness & sin and then saved me unto Himself chooses to be involved and loves me (us!) enough to sanctify me is amazing. Sickness is a part of the fall, an imperfection that is the result of sin. But, if He can use the fruit of the fall to plant a tree of life within me...that is marvelous indeed. 

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 
2 Corinthians 4:16 

An amazing, merciful gift. The thankfulness is bursting from my heart. He is gloriously perfect and yet He chooses to work to make me more holy. How can I restrain my praises? My thankfulness? My wonder? "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

STOKED

YOU GUYS. I slept soundly from 10:30pm to 5am! This is the most consecutive hours of sleep I have gotten in two weeks. I feel so much better. Praising the Lord for this unexpected and wonderful gift.