Monday, April 28, 2014

hang loose

1. Many things (well, sinful actions) arguably stem from issues of control*. The range is great; from anger to passive aggressiveness, for example. Personally, I generally internalize it and become an extremely stressed and stressful person, leading to other things (e.g. subdued panic, being a terrible wife/sister/daughter, and eczema flare-ups, haha). Through this whole saga, especially as the past three days have been terrifyingly bad, I have been realizing all of the areas over which I have consciously and subconsciously tried to exert control (the list is becoming impossibly long). It is God's grace that has revealed this to me through these distressing circumstances and, to be honest, I am rejoicing in it. I'm not a fan of the circumstances by any stretch, but I am so glad that God is graciously, mercifully, and lovingly sanctifying me! A gift of mercy.

2. I'm in pretty terrible shape. Not going to going to make it long but... it's gnarly. And gross. And miserable. And painful. But I'm relaxed (whatwhat?!). We might have to delay our trip to CA and cancel our vacation but... I'm okay. Ask me again if we actually have to do those things, but for now, I'm relaxed and peaceful. Praise the Lord for His kindness in this. And please petition Him for my healing, that He may be glorified through my physical wholeness.

*"Arguably" used to make room for other theories / beliefs, including pride, nature v nuture, greed, being a first born, selfishness, 'because I love you', and IBS.

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