Wednesday, April 30, 2014

up/down

Down: 
a. I have flu-like symptoms due to Herzheimer's reaction and, well, you know how the flu is. This plus everything else is a three layer cake of lethal that has knocked me flat out.
b. All areas that had almost finished healing (shoulders, back, chest, abdomen, thighs, back of R knee, arms, wrists, hands) from eczema are either back to their original state or worse.
c. A third fungi has apparently taken over my system.
(Uncertain why, but the theory is that when we got rid of the others this one, dormant in tissue, decided to 'move in'.
hlkjsafdsafhlkj. ! ! ! Disgusting x a billion.)
d. I am fully cationic, i.e. my system is extremely acidic.
I say "fully" cationic, because February testing revealed my system was cationic/anionic...some parts of were too acidic while others were too alkaline. Current ph is 5.8 (ideal body ph is slightly alkaline, at ~7.4 ph).
e. Sadly, we had to delay our departure date. No CA vacation for us, at least this time around. (Preview of an "Up" --> but we are still going to be there for the major family events, which is fantastic).

Up: 
a. As of yesterday (Tuesday), we have the results from one of the tests (not the blood tests, but still). Incredibly glad to have them!
b. Part of the results --> New diet to alkalize my system...and I like it way better, even though it is just as restrictive in many ways. Things like raw milk and raspberries are okay to eat now, even though old favorites like maple syrup, eggs (just kidding! This is apparently [thankfully!] temporary. In a month I can eat eggs! They are an acidifying food, but no where near as bad as beef, so just gotta wait until I am not so cationic, and then we will likely be able to reintroduce), and beef are off the table. :)
c. I am consistently able to open my eyes without difficulty, despite the fact that they are still swollen. This is a tremendous relief.
d. The eczema no longer impedes my ability to eat.
e. Today I did a lot of standing and walking around as mom and I did some errands to prepare for this new diet...and I am pooped but not crashing, as has been the pattern in the past. SO happy about this.
f. Found a clinic that does pre-warming / has the proper incubator so the final blood test (for this first round of testing) can be completed. Whoop!
g. My amazing mom blessed me by hanging out with me and discovering MOM's Organic Market with me when I wasn't permitted to take the blood test that was scheduled for today. I loved spending time with her. Cannot thank you enough, Mom. (You should all find good reasons to visit her, by the way. She is going to make a strawberry-rhubarb pie...and you know about my mother's magical abilities with pie).
h. Despite having to cancel our CA vacation, I'm not anxious or depressed. We're still going out for Sarah's graduation, just not when we hoped we would. It's out of our control, so it is both practical and of strategic interest to be at peace...but beyond that, I just am at peace.

While it is still true nothing sounds better than a few solid days with beautiful surroundings, with no one but my handsome husband and nothing to interfere in our plans... it's not my hope or source of joy. Are you rolling your eyeballs? Before you lift a scoffing eyebrow, realize that I think the day has been fancy if I go to the grocery store! Easter weekend has been the only weekend in ages that wasn't spent doing damage control for a new mystery surge as we watched all of our progress disappear. Just the idea of a vacation with your most treasured friend can easily become an idol when you are a shut-in. In retrospect, it had become that for me for a brief amount of time. Praise the Lord for His goodness and generous mercy in both shaking me free of that idol and for giving me peace when the opportunity for precious time with Tom was taken away.

For those of you who understand why this would be saddening, don't feel bad for me. I actually feel worse for Tom. I tried to convince him to go on without me so he could spend time with family and friends but, of course, he would have none of it, in the kindest way possible. He has had made so many sacrifices already. I hoped this would not be one of them. Thinking about all of the good (and just plain normal) things he has given up or missed---cheerfully, with love, for the glory of God, literally without uttering a single complaint---because of me makes my heart ache. (Lord, please grant Tom the desires of his heart, for Your name's sake). However, we strongly doubt that my condition is permanent, and while disappointing and a little sad, there will be other trips and opportunities...hey, while our time in CA will be a rushed and busy few days, they will be full of dear-ones. I can't wait to be spending time with our family! Eeep! <--(utilizing a non-word to express my intense level of excited anticipation! And excitement! Because I am excited. Did I mention I am excited about seeing our family??! Bah!)

Oh, and it will be warm. Poo on you, rainy Virginia.


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